Hello, I’m an attention whore so I’m announcing my hiatus instead of just fucking off.
Seriously though, I am taking a break from drawing. I’m quite frankly burnt out, I have been for awhile. My relationship with my art has gotten increasingly more complicated and it’s really frustrating. I used to draw all the time, I used to love it, I used to have endless ideas, I used to be able to finish an entire piece in one sitting. Things aren’t like that anymore. I have inspiration, but not a lot of ideas. The ideas I do have never get drawn because of lack of energy or insecurity.
I have a million references and inspirations that I don’t use, that I don’t take the time to use properly. Most of my issues boil down to not being able to pace myself. I expect myself to properly draw something in one sitting. It’s a bad habit that hasn’t affected me negatively until now. It’s so hard for me to just pace myself. In life and with art.
Which leads too another thing, my real life issues are affecting my art. My pacing issues, my low confidence, my high expectations for myself. These are things that constantly get in my way and it pisses me off. So I have to unpack all of that for my sake and my art’s sake.
I get so just frustrated because I want to improve so badly, but I expect it to happen instantly. I’ve been so hyper focused on improving that I haven’t enjoyed drawing in a while. I don’t have fun with it, in fact it genuinely stresses me out. Are these proportions correct? Is this pose too stiff? What colors do I chose? It’s become a chore to draw and it’s left me exhausted. I’ve lost my passion & my love for it, for now at least.
I’m going to take a break to focus on working through my issues and my other hobbies. I think I’m gonna put in extra effort into walking, I’m a fat fuck but I’m hoping to start running eventually. Idk, we’ll see.
Also, I will be mass deleting posts. I’ve come to the conclusion that I only want to share works I’m genuinely confident in. Unfortunately, that means most of them will be deleted. I’ve been lazy with some and that’s okay, but I only want the really good stuff to be displayed. I’ve kinda used this account as a dumping grounds. I realize now that I don’t have to post everything I draw.
Thank you for reading this far, I’m very complicated person with big feelings and I have this urge to share them with the world. I just want to be heard and I want my struggles to be acknowledged. I really am an attention whore, but that’s okay.
Idk when I’ll come back, but I’ll let y’all know when I do.